I've Been Thinking

... about my doorbell. When ya gonna ring it? When ya gonna ring it?

White Stripes references out of the way, I'd like to talk about something weighing heavily upon me: the fact that I don't know what I want to talk about. I've done roughly 5,000 things since my last post (give or take a thousand), and I really don't want to make a list of it. That's really the impetus behind the long gaps between posts, too. Even if I tell you all these things I've done, I don't have any confidence that it would sufficiently convey anything other than cold, hard fact. And the last thing I want my blog to be is cold and hard. It should be brimming with life, vitality. Just like me.

I'm reading "Yes Man" right now. Yes, the one that the movie is based on. However, while the movie is fiction, the book is nonfiction; and as unbelievable as the events of the book are, they are supposedly true.

It's one of the most inspiring books I've ever read.

I think Danny Wallace is now one of my all-time heroes. He's right above Gandhi and Magritte on the list. Yes, he's above Gandhi (now that I've written that, I'm not sure I mean it. At any rate, I think you get the point).

In short, the book's effectively used it's giant life-affirming highlighter to underline every choice I make. I can feel the weight of every potential opportunity, and so, within reason, I've been pouncing on just about every Yes that floats my way.

I have certain friends (who will remain anonymous) who I've always admired for their ability to seemingly live a life free of regret. How do they do it? For me, Regret can push down on you so hard as to be debilitating.

I think that Yes is the key to seeing the good in every experience, the key that negates regret. When you see the potential opportunity of every action, you realize that opportunities are everywhere, abundant as air. Just say yes to them.

It sort of goes back to my epiphany about human will back in the summer after Freshman year of college. I "conquered boredom" then because it dawned on me that you can do anything you want. The only thing that really limits you is your willpower; and if you really tap into the amazing reservoir of the human spirit, you might find that it's practically bottomless. Will yourself to just do something, because doing something is always a lot more interesting than doing nothing. You might think that's simple, but society makes it so hard for people to realize their potential because it bombards them with a never-ending string of potential excuses. "I'm too fat", "they live too far away", "hasn't been online lately", "well, Idol was on..." For me, when I realized this is when I think I stopped being a child. I wasn't an adult (I'm still not), but I wasn't a child anymore.

I'm still guilty of making excuses, piling on regrets. It's hard to remember how amazing people can be when you can summarize your entire impression of someone based on a Facebook status message. That's why it's good I have this book. When I forget, I can just read this book. And then say yes more.

I suppose this leads me to the conclusion of this little post. Here's a weekend of Yessing.

I said yes to Mr. Ogushi's ramen dinner invitation in Shiraoka. I said yes to getting coffee with him afterwards. It turned into a three and a half hour conversation.

I said yes to going to Mr. Ogushi's takoyaki party the next day. I met a man there who told me an amusing story about how once in America, he said "kyuu-zero-four" at the front desk of a hotel instead of "nine-zero-four" and subsequently had a lot of trouble getting into his room. I also learned how to make expert takoyaki (fried dough balls with octopus in the center).

I said yes to the invitation to attend my friend Koichi's gay choir recital. I said yes to going to Tokyo Tower with Stef and Teresa afterwards. I said yes to Chris' request that I contact him afterward if I was bored.

And then I slipped a little. I was invited to go to Odaiba with Stef, Teresa, and Lucille and I said no. I said, "No, just leave me here at Tokyo Tower. I'll find something". But as I said it, I was worried that I wouldn't find something. I was in Tokyo. Was I really just going to go home early and sleep when I had the day off on Monday? So then, acting quickly, I called Chris and said yes to his invitation to join him at the Hub in Harajuku.

I said yes when Naoko wanted to teach Joe English and I the Japanese version of "Eeny Meeny". I said yes to fish and chips. I said yes to a gin and tonic.

Here's the part I considered leaving out, but I figure if I've already gotten this far in this embarrassing post, I might at well take it all the way to the end.

I said yes to going to a bar with Chris to meet up with Koichi, who happens to be Chris' boyfriend. I said yes to going to a bar in Nichome. I said yes to another Moscow Mule. I said yes to singing Lady Gaga with Koichi at a gay bar. I said yes when Koichi and Chris invited me to sleep on their extra futon after I missed my last train due to too much Yessing.

I said yes to a New Year's nabe (stew-like food) party with all the friends I've made. I said yes to a game of Hoopla. I said yes to all-you-can-drink karaoke. I said yes to having fun.

Today, I said yes to myself. This is stupid, but why not write it. Why not.